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Ebook About A raw and funny memoir about sex, dating, and relationships in the digital age, intertwined with a brilliant investigation into the challenges to love and intimacy wrought by dating apps, by firebrand New York Times–bestselling author Nancy Jo SalesAt forty-nine, famed Vanity Fair writer Nancy Jo Sales was nursing a broken heart and wondering, “How did I wind up alone?” On the advice of a young friend, she downloaded Tinder, then a brand-new dating app. What followed was a raucous ride through the world of online dating. Sales, an award-winning journalist and single mom, became a leading critic of the online dating industry, reporting and writing articles and making her directorial debut with the HBO documentary Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age. Meanwhile, she was dating a series of younger men, eventually falling in love with a man less than half her age. Nothing Personal is Sales’s memoir of coming-of-middle-age in the midst of a new dating revolution. She is unsparingly honest about her own experience of addiction to dating apps and hilarious in her musings about dick pics, sexting, dating FOMO, and more. Does Big Dating really want us to find love, she asks, or just keep on using its apps? Fiercely feminist, Nothing Personal investigates how Big Dating has overwhelmed the landscape of dating, cynically profiting off its users’ deepest needs and desires. Looking back through the history of modern courtship and her own relationships, Sales examines how sexism has always been a factor for women in dating, and asks what the future of courtship will bring, if left to the designs of Silicon Valley’s tech giants—especially in a time of social distancing and a global pandemic, when the rules of romance are once again changing.Book Nothing Personal: My Secret Life in the Dating App Inferno Review :
When a person chooses to put themselves in places where sleazier humans tend to congregate, it should be no shock or surprise that one then meets sleazy people.!When you entertain your co-workers with tale after TALE of you hooking up with random guys, amazingly people looking to form solid, long lasting, meaningful relationships WILL steer clear of you!Having sex with someone does NOT reflect on your value as a person, it does NOT distinguish you. Allowing yourself to be such a willing participant in pointless hookups is a personal choice that does not tend to lead to good endings.As for the book itself, it goes slowly as many of these "revelations" are repeated several times. Of COURSE photos of naked genitals are being sent on smart phones. That is not news. However her take on this is, how hard this is for females to find themselves splashed all over the internet. HELLO.....the exact same judgement that keeps females FROM sleeping with anyone, comes into play BEFORE allowing naked photos to be taken in the first place. For exactly that reason. ANY photo in ANY form, that is compromising to you, that would embarrass you in the wrong hands, or that you would not want your children or potential children to see, should NOT BE TAKEN. The control comes at that moment. NOT after the fact. NOT after sending to someone else. Really basic judgement.Every possible warning bell was ignored in the 4 years she clung to a guy half her age. Guy lies to her. Guy sleeps with others. Guy is unreliable. Guy is unreachable. Guy just got out of jail. Guy is so drunk he pees in her bed. She lets him return and he pees in her dresser drawer. Guy wants another woman. She hides guy from daughter for 4 years. At one point, she asked him why this other female accused him of being unfaithful. Had he given her a reason to accuse him? OH NO. Yet all the time, he has been sleeping with the author. If that doesn't say loud and clear, having sex with her is totally meaningless to him, what would? He does not seem to realize, she has just caught him in yet another lie and oddly neither does she! The only "relationship" going on here, was in her mind.So he put some female in his phone, with bra size noted and THAT is what finally caused her to boot him out in the middle of the night? NOT the lies, NOT the lack of support when she was injured, not the zero commitment or reliability, not the fact he is with other women? Why would this surprise her?Why would the author want everyone to know about any of this?Repeated tales of poor judgement involving men can make for a very tiring book. This falls into that category. Nancy Jo Sales and I must have been separated at birth, because we're close in age (I'm 52) and we've had so many similar awful dating experiences, there were times I had to set the book aside and just laugh. I had watched "Swiped" and was infuriated by how human beings were being treated as disposable commodities with no regard for anyone's feelings or personal safety; to the app creators, we're just inventory that needs to be tallied and monetized. It was even more disheartening to learn that Nancy's experiences in NYC mirrored my own in Portland, Oregon. Somehow I thought that men in NYC would at least be more sophisticated and less passive-aggressive than the men here. But they even have fish pics guys on NYC Tinder, so it's just awful everywhere. Reading Nancy's self-deprecating takes on her bad dates rang so true to me, it was as if I'd sent her some material of mine to pass off to the masses as her own.To be a single cisgender woman in your 50s is to feel invisible and unworthy of attention from the younger and cuter guys, while the majority of men your own age haven't put any effort into self-care and all look like they could be your grandfather. Reading Nancy's book led me to conduct a brief Bumble experiment of my own that went about as well as you'd expect at the end of a pandemic: I didn't want to immediately jump on the guy, so he ghosted me. I had no emotions invested in it; in fact, I predicted how it would go the entire time. So it was actually pretty gratifying to know I'd been doing the right thing by staying off of the apps all along. Because it's not really about which app you use, it's all about your dating pool. And my dating pool in Portland is a thimble half-full of standing water. I'd rather stay home with my cats and watch Netflix than risk the STD version of giardia, thanks.My ultimate takeaway from NOTHING PERSONAL (which reads more like you're having drinks with Nancy at Satsko's instead of a case study of online dating) is that it's always healthier to love yourself first and foremost, because being alone for the right reasons is always better than being with someone else for the wrong reasons. If you decide to share yourself with another person, never settle for less than what you deserve. Cisgender women so often have to compromise what we want or need from a relationship just to keep a guy interested in staying in that relationship, and that needs to stop. Personally, at this point in my life, I'm perfectly content with my friends, my cats, my kids, and my couch. I'd rather have a book deal than a boyfriend, thanks.Also, I want to hang out with Nancy at Satsko's for HOURS. 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